Why You Should Forgive Your Ex

There is not an injustice that has been committed against you of which you, before God, are not just as if not more guilty of, and for which you (if in Christ) have not been graciously forgiven of.

Wronged as you may have been, or are being, every lie said to you or of you pales in comparison to the innumerable times in which you have lied in word or in deed about who God is. You have been ashamed of the gospel. You have lied to yourself and to others. You have traded the truth of God for the praise, acceptance and sympathy of man. But God, being rich in mercy, knowing all that you would be guilty of, suffered for you nonetheless, and continues in His patience with you still.

‘Oh,’ you may retort though, ‘you don’t know what’s been done to me! You don’t know what I’ve had to put up with! You don’t know what I’ve lost, and what I’m losing!’

The Lord has seen your best and worst days, and He doesn’t seek to ease your pain by saying, “it could be worse.” Rather, the cross communicates its hope in that even in the worst of times, Sunday still draws near, and Christ will most certainly come again. It will get better, and it will be okay for those in Christ Jesus. Therefore, as Paul professed, so may we also “consider the sufferings of this present time not worth comparing to the glory that is to be revealed to us” (Rom 8:18).

How after all can a man forgiven of so great a debt still pound his fist to a table and demand of another what’s due him? How does a sinner deserving of death but given life harbor condemnation for another sinner? How can I withhold forgiveness from you when so much grace has been poured upon me? My cup overfloweth.

So then, “let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamour and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you” (Eph 4:31-32).

“Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you” (Jn 14:27).

I write to myself as much as to you.