I Need You, Father

I need more than your help, Father. I need You!

I need you to make me into something that glorifies you. I need you to give me a daily desire for you, and then, like a cripple needs a caretaker, I need you to open my hands so that I can receive that gift.

I need you to feed me, and I need you to be patient with me when I ignore, resist or reject what you feed me. To my anguish, I trust myself, and I need to trust you, but no matter how many times I mouth the words that today, I will trust you, I keep coming back to myself! I think I know better when I don’t, and I need you to fix me!

I need you like an infant needs care. Like a dying man needs a new body. Like a drowning man needs a breath.

I cannot meet you halfway, Father. I am like a bug on its back, and merely helping me to my feet is not enough. I need you to pick me up and take me with you. By your power, in your strength, because you are willing and able, at your expense, preferably sooner than later, I need you, Lord, to lift me up not so that I would be held high, but so that the world might see the strength of my Father, who art in Heaven, in whom I find my relief and my joy.

The world would love for me to make much of myself. To be a big deal–what a life it must be. As if in my eternity I will forever know peace because I was well liked in this world.

No.

You are worthy, Father. You alone are good, and like you have so many times already, you will rescue me from the evils that come both at me and from within me. You give peace. You give patience, and you give me life. You give me you, Lord.

Thank you.